Make The Moment

When I was in high school, I traveled abroad for a semester. It was an amazing opportunity to learn about a different culture, to be immersed in another language and way of life, and to connect with pieces of history. 

Throughout this semester, we had weekends during which we were hosted by families around the country so that we could not only travel more, but have some family experiences while we were so far away from home. I remember these weekends as being such a treat - a real bed, rather than the dorm, a bit of a break from everything involved in living in close quarters with 30 other pubescent kids away from their parents for the first extended time in their lives… and home cooked food.

One of those weekends in particular, I was assigned to stay with a lovely older couple - empty nesters, sweet grandparent-types who were so delighted to have someone on whom to dote for a couple of days. They let me sleep in, they showed me around their neighborhood, and when it was time to go, the mother packaged up for me my favorite of all the amazing treats she had prepared during my stay with them.

When I returned to the dorm, I put the packaged treats in a special hidden spot on my shelf and was so excited to enjoy them. At the same time, though, I also wanted to save them for a special moment - a moment special enough for the delicious food and the equally delicious memories they brought with them. 

I didn’t want to waste them on a moment that was not worthy of them.

And I bet you already know what happened next.

I was so concerned with saving this special treat, with making sure that the “special-ness” wasn’t squandered… that I lost track of the fact that fresh, homemade baked goods… can’t sit wrapped in a dorm room for that long.

When I finally chose a moment and opened the package, they’d spoiled. Developed mold. Were no longer edible.

I was so afraid to waste something good, that I… wasted something good.

I was so convinced that good things had to be saved for good moments that I ruined both - the good thing gone to waste and the good moment soured as a result.

I was so worried that I wouldn’t have more good things later that I squandered the good thing that was right in front of me.

This should have been a lesson to me. And, I mean, it was.

But unfortunately, it was a lesson I had to keep re-learning. If I’m being honest, I am still relearning it.

I still find myself waiting for the perfect occasion to wear the good outfit, or the fancy eyeshadow. I don’t want to “ruin” the pretty journal if I don’t think I have the perfect message to write. I still find myself not wanting to waste the good items on the wrong occasions. I still have pangs of fear for wasting the good yarn on the wrong crochet pattern. 

It still permeates too many aspects of my life.

But now I’m learning that it’s not about finding the perfect moment, it’s about creating it.  Waiting for a moment that may never come means missing out on the ones that we are already in. 

So instead of saving the good things for a special moment, maybe we can start using the good things to make the moments special. In fact, maybe let’s start realizing that  “random Tuesday” and “I finished my to-do list” are reasons to wear the shirt, eat the cake, or use the fancy dishes. Let’s not hide away our special things - they’re meant to be enjoyed, not hoarded or left to spoil. We have no idea what “later” will look like, or when it will arrive, so let’s stop postponing our joy  - let’s celebrate the moments in which we find ourselves. Because this moment is real, this moment is here, and this moment is special.