Take the Long Way
It took me several hours of back and forth with myself to decide to leave the house today. There are dishes in the sink. There is laundry in the dryer. I had been putting off writing this post all weekend and would have happily procrastinated until midnight. But, I thought to myself, there has to be a better way. There must be an alternative to spending every single Sunday filled with dread about the tasks that I have become so skilled at avoiding. So I packed up my notebook and dragged myself to Barnes and Noble.
I knew I had made the right decision when the smell of new books and coffee greeted me. My whole body relaxed as I settled into my seat and sipped my coffee. Suddenly there was hope for the day.
The dishes and laundry will be waiting for me when I get home, but that doesn’t feel so bad now. The reason for that goes deeper than a change of scenery. By sitting here, as words finally flow from my pen, I am giving myself permission to enjoy the day instead of spending it in a state if mental punishment. I am fighting against the pattern of guilt I feel for having moments of peace where there are still tasks left to complete.
It’s a shame that it feels revolutionary to say this, but you are allowed to enjoy yourself. Full stop. Not if and when your chores are done. Not after everyone else is happy. Life is short, and we run the risk of missing it every day. Let it sink in how stressed you must be if simply enjoying a cup of coffee feels like an indulgence. If you feel guilty for navigating the day without constant tightness in your chest. It doesn’t have to be this way.
We live in an age where productivity seems to directly effect our worth. It can feel almost embarrassing to say “actually, my week was pretty good!” It feels far less acceptable than constantly competing to see who is the most stressed person in the room. Next time you feel consumed by the “Sunday Scaries”, zoom out. Take yourself, and a task if you must, to a place that makes you happy. Stay up past your bedtime to spend time with a friend. Take the long way home, even if it feels less responsible than selecting “fastest route.” The rigidity of your routine will not add years to your life. You will not win any prizes for choosing to run yourself ragged. Life is short. Do not run the risk of missing it.