Dancing as a Way Into Courage, Connection, and Belonging.

When I walked into my first Zumba class, I had no idea it would be a way back to myself.   

You might ask, “Wait, I don’t get it…isn’t Zumba a dance fitness class?”

It is. 

However, over the last year or so, one concept that seemed to keep emerging for me was, “How you do anything is how you do everything.’”  The idea suggested here is that the way we approach any challenge or situation in life is likely a good indication of how we will approach every other challenge or situation in life because each are guided by the same underlying values, habits, and strengths (e.g. like discipline, will power, mindset, etc.)

For me, this has extended into the idea that you can use anything to build the character strengths you need to build for everything.

It means, anything you do can have the capacity to become a vehicle for deeper growth beyond the surface activity, especially the development of values, skills, habit and strengths.

Zumba or dance fitness has been this for me.

Brené Brown, a researcher and storyteller who has spent two decades studying, lecturing and writing about courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy created 10 Guideposts for Authentic living.  Authenticity is a word we throw around a lot today, so is vulnerability, but I love the way Brené Brown describes these concepts:

Authenticity is letting go of who we think we are supposed to be in order to be who we truly are. To show up as we are with all our imperfections.  It requires cultivating courage.  Again, I love the way Brown defines courage; She says the original definition, from the Latin root “cor” which means heart, was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.  Showing up with you whole heart, unguarded, unprotected, is an act of courage.

This is the thing though.  According to Brown:

“You can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability.”

That means we cannot get to authenticity, without vulnerability; without opening ourselves up to the uncertainty we feel when facing emotional exposure or risk.  According to the 10 guideposts, showing up as we are requires things like risking imperfection, risking uncertainty, relying on our internal knowing (our own intuition and faith), as well as letting go of what other people think. 

Also included Brené Browns 10 guideposts for Authentic Living is this one:

“Laughter, song, and dance: Let go of being cool and in control.”

This is how we get to dance fitness.

There are many people who tell me they are hesitant to explore taking a dance fitness class because they don’t think they can dance, or they don’t see themselves as good at it.   Others come in to try a class but are cautious in their moves.  People sometimes get stuck on the idea that they need to do it “right” and feel discouraged because they didn’t quite “get” something. 

Dancing requires vulnerability.  Especially in dance fitness where you don’t necessarily know the moves & choreography, leaving little opportunity for perfection or control, and where there are a lot of people around that can make you feel self-conscious and exposed. (I know, right now I am not making it sound like much fun but keep reading!)

Dance can be a form of practicing vulnerability, which is how it can help us build authenticity, courage and ultimately joy and belonging.  If you focus on trying to look cool and in control, it will rob you from naturally expressing yourself, and will keep you confined. 

Dance when met with vulnerability, however, opens you up to self-expression.  It takes courage and risk, but it is a way to open to who you are and allow your full self to emerge and be seen.

Brown notes:

“In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.“

Dance allowed me to practice vulnerability and become more comfortable showing my imperfect self.

When I became a dance fitness instructor, I was not a trained dancer, nor was I a strong athlete, so I could not rely on training or athleticism to teach dance fitness.  As a recovering perfectionist who hid herself behind excruciatingly limiting perfectionism, teaching dance fitness without being able to rely on training or athleticism was HARD because I knew I was not going to be or look perfect.  The only way I could teach was to rely on something more internal: Courage to push through and show up as I am.  I had to accept I would be flawed, I had to accept imperfection, and I had to trust who would emerge. 

But that is what created the magic for me, the something more that dance fitness taps into.

Each time I teach, I have to make friends with vulnerability and accept my humanity.  I have to show up unfiltered, imperfect, and I make mistakes.  And sometimes it is those times that I make a mistake that the class laughs with me, and we create this experience of connection.  Each time I really let go and allow myself to open to being swept away by the music, when I risk dancing bigger, uglier, that is when I see the class come alive.  Each time I see a participant get lost in the music and open themselves to be seen, those are the times I learn a bit about who they are. 

Like anything, however, vulnerability and courage are muscles, and you can build them through dance.  Each time you “let yourself go” you are practicing vulnerability and the courage to open yourself up to others. Fighting through self-judgement, shame, embarrassment, to show up as you are.   As you build that muscle it starts to show up in other parts of your life.  The way you walk, dress, the way you risk yourself in conversation.  It is a way to living with your whole heart. 

True belonging and connection can only happen when we are willing to be who we are, because only when we are willing to be seen do people see us.  And unless we are willing to be known, we can never feel people know us, so how could we ever feel truly connected.

Want to practice?  Try a dance fitness class.